absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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