Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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