Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet

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(989): View more from Michigan

Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.

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(360): View more from Washington

Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY

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(760): View more from California

Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

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(905): View more from Ontario

How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.

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(813): View more from Florida

It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.

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