I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my liver is dry heaving
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
