grandma shit on top of the toilet
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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