I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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