moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize