to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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