i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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