it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
