i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
