i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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