I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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