Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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