Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
false alarm, still single
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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