is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
