For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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