Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
