i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
