also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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