I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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