why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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