oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
