direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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