I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize