She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
