we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
