it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
