every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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