He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
