he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
