Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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