i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
