I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
