I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize