I heard we made out
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
