i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
