yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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