Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize