this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
