I'm so fucking centered right now
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
