Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
