I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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