Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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