When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
