Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight

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(301): View more from Maryland

Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

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(407): View more from Florida

do you ever just like the smell of your farts?

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(224): View more from Illinois

U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.

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(510): View more from California

I'm trying to make a sex playlist

(916): View more from California

record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

What drugs are we doing when you visit?

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.

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(716): View more from New York

Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.

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