Do you still have your period?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.