i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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