Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh god the rape fog is back!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
