When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
