I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize