Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I would ride that face into the sunset
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
