Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
