anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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