One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
