we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
