Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
