similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
