Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
