1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize