THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just puked most of my soul out..
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