and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
